What is BDSM? 11x tips for beginners

Just to get straight to the point; BDSM stands for Bondage & Discipline (restricting the partner's freedom of movement and imposing rules and punishments), Dominance & Submission (division of roles between both parties, leader and subject), Sadism & Massochism (pleasure of torment or being hurt) . This means that you should actually come up with the abbreviation BDDSSM. But because that is a whole mouth full, BDSM was chosen.

 

General tips
So there are plenty of options within BDSM to start with. First of all, it is important to take a number of general matters into account. First of all, you should discuss it with your partner. Make sure you are well prepared and agree on a safe word. Learn more about the general beginner tips for BDSM. Below we go into a little more detail.

 

Tip #1: Make it negotiable
To just start BDSM unannounced can be experienced as unpleasant for your partner. Just like during "normal" sex, it is important to keep talking. Both before and during your first BDSM experience. Ask each other what the other likes or dislikes and find out where each other's boundaries lie. Such a conversation can also be very exciting because both of you are already being teased about each other's desires.

 

Tip #2: Safeword
Important in advance is the safety of you and your partner. To keep BDSM safe for both parties, it's important to agree a few rules and things with your partner. This way you will not be faced with surprises and it will remain a pleasant experience for both of you.

The most important convention here is the safe word. When it gets a bit too much for one of you, the safe word can be used. The safe word itself can be anything. For example, choose a color, an animal breed or a number. It is important here that the word has absolutely nothing to do with your BDSM experience. This can cause confusion.

 

Tip #3: Prepare
During BDSM it is good to have knowledge of the subject. First determine together which part of the BDSM disciplines you want to start doing. So, when you start with BDSM, read carefully in advance about the best ways to spoil each other. Good preparation is therefore half the battle. A handcuff that is too tight or the wrong knot can have unpleasant consequences.

 

Tip #4: Start simple
In the previous tip we indicated that you can choose one or more disciplines within BDSM in advance. However, as a beginner it is easiest to stick to a single discipline and use a single attribute. So start simple. On the one hand, you can then test whether it is really something for you. The other advantage is that you can focus completely on that one discipline and get better and better at it. Once you have completely mastered a discipline, you can see if you can involve even more forms of BDSM.

 

Tip #5: Evaluate the BDSM experience
This tip sounds more boring than it is and is essential for you whether or not to continue with BDSM. As for the boring part, this is a big misunderstanding. Overall, your BDSM experience will have been a fun and exciting affair. To discuss this experience afterwards can provide new excitement. During the evaluation you should therefore mainly discuss what you found tasty and exciting. However, it is also important to discuss the lesser points. In this way you can optimize the BDSM experience for both partners in the future and the evaluations become just repetitions of previous exciting evenings.

 

Bondage & Discipline Tips

After the general tips, we now list a number of beginners tips per discipline. First of all bondage & discipline; This is about tying each other up and obeying when the partner asks you something. Usually this will also have to be done, because at least one partner is bound with hands and/or feet.

 

Tip #6: bondage
The best known form of BDSM is probably bondage . Everyone has probably had a fantasy about tying up the partner and then teasing them in different ways. The easiest way to get started with bondage is to use handcuffs. You do not have to tie difficult knots and you can still deprive your partner of the movement. But also the use of ropes, harnesses and belts are all tools to tie up your partner and take full control.

 

Tip #7: Blindfold each other
What also requires a form of discipline is wearing a blindfold . It is very tempting to take it off. By blindfolding your partner it is therefore easy to give away or take control. By taking away the sense of sight, the other senses are strengthened. This provides more feeling through your body and more pleasure. Combine wearing a blindfold with bondage to prevent the partner wearing the blindfold from taking it off. Wonderful stimulation and orgasms guaranteed with this simple form of BDSM.

 

Dominance & Submission tips

What connects seamlessly with bondage & discipline is dominance & submission. In the first combination it is important that a dominant and submissive partner is determined. Of course you can also alternate this. Yet you can do many more things within dominance & submission than just bondage. The following two tips are ideal for beginners to get acquainted with dominance and submission.

 

Tip #8: Roleplay
A role play sounds softer than it is. You can of course make it a soft play and just cuddle with each other. You can also choose to get into roles with a balance of power. For example, think of a pilot and steward/stewardess. It would then be obvious that the pilot is dominant in this role play. But a dominant flight attendant controlling a pilot might be even more exciting.

 

Tip #9: Give each other assignments
Giving hot assignments to each other can lead to unexpected tension. Use a mission game for this , or come up with the best things yourself. It is also important to determine in advance who is the dominant and who is the submissive partner. This way you can immediately determine who should carry out which assignment. The assignments often contain a part that is suitable for someone who is submissive or someone who is dominant. Of course you can also agree on a specific time when you switch roles. That way it remains an exciting and varied game for both of you.

 

Sadism & Masochism Tips

The last variable within the BDSM abbreviation is perhaps the most exciting. Sadism and masochism are about hurting or being hurt. This is therefore a part of BDSM that you should discuss with your partner even better than the others. A code word is also essential with the so-called SM. To start with, we have given below two SM examples that you can practice in a mild form.

 

Tip #10: Spanking
You can do spanking as hard as you want and if your partner likes it. Still, it's a good way to get in touch with SM for the first time. For example, by using a whip you can build up the strength of the spanking and start more in a gentle way. In this way, find a way between pleasing and tormenting each other by spanking. Agree exciting rules with each other with spanking as a punishment. That way you can combine spanking with the dominance & submission part.

 

Tip #11: Nipple clamps
Nipple clamps are also a good way to come into contact with SM. You can buy nipple clamps with soft ends for a soft experience. Then you can tighten the nipple clamps harder and harder. Have you outgrown the soft nipple clamps? Then there are of course also nipple clamps that are placed on the nipples without a soft silicone layer. The metal directly on the nipple is not only more sensitive because of the material. It also causes the nipple to harden because the nipple comes into contact with cold material. Enough possibilities with nipple clamps for the novice BDSM player.

 

Hopefully, after reading this blog, you will have a better understanding of how to experiment with BDSM as a beginner. The most important thing in BDSM, however extreme, is mutual respect. Without respect to each other, you cannot enjoy. Therefore, be sure to take the general tips to heart to enjoy a wonderful BDSM evening together.